This is not a confession.
This is a suicide note to all that once was me.
I don't deserve the chances I've been given, or the people that surround me.
I am undeserving of the life I lead.
So listen to the story of a man, broken and defeated,
Who never thought he would get back up,
Or see the light of another day.
The story of the man standing before you,
piecing his life back together, with regret as the glue.
I would wrap my car around a pole if it would erase all the wrong I've done,
Mend the lives that I have sent down the drain.
What kind of man am I?
I get the feeling that I shouldn't be alive.
Yet here I am, doing the best I can to forgive myself and to forget.
Well you may have forgiven me, but I still can't forgive myself,
And I don't know if I ever will.
I never will.
So maybe I can't move on,
But I can use solitude to avoid repeating past mistakes,
Though I swear I've changed.
I can't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be alive.